I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
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Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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