They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
