THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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