Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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