sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
