I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
