sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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