Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.