thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society