I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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