my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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