Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize