How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
