Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize