I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
