farters have to be the big spoon...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
