he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize