Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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