Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize