I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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