i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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