so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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