She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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