i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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