How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
