my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We're too hungover to prance.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
