I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
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Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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