Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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