did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
