4 words: hood of his car
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
