Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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