I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
