so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina