mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...