Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY