You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
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just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.