nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
