Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
