Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.