I CAN MOONWALK!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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