Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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