I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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