either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I came so hard my ears popped.