we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.