I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
