i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
two words: eviction party
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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