hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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