He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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