Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
