What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
