i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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