he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish you could order shots online.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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