my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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