So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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