dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize